Stressful situations are everywhere. Life is a constant cycle of ups and downs, and it’s important to calm yourself down during the low times. Sometimes, you might need to calm upset people down as well.
More specifically, you need to practice okay phrases to say to people when you’re trying to calm them down. Everybody’s familiar with feeling angry or frustrated, and having a friend tell you to “calm down.” In the history of good intentions, trying to calm an upset friend by telling them to calm down has never worked.
“Calm down” comes across as a command. It sounds like you’re doing something wrong.
Instead of barking a command at someone, even when trying to help, it’s best to use specific phrases and concepts to achieve your goals. Here are some proven ways you can calm an upset person and get them back to a pre-angry and relaxed state.
1. Is There Anything I Can Do to Help?
Asking instead of stating a command and demanding an answer is one of the best ways to calm upset people. When you ask a question, such as, “Can I help?” or “Is there something you need me to do to help?”, it shows the person you’re conversing with that you’re doing two things.
First, you’re showing you’re listening to them. Their feelings are important, and you’re giving them a chance to speak their mind. Second, it shows you care. Caring is beneficial and goes a long way in any relationship.
2. Try to Breathe
Breathing works on a couple of different levels when calming people down. It first helps on a biological level.
When you take deep breaths, you’re calming your body down and allowing more blood flow to your brain. Your body will naturally relax and be at ease from taking a few deep, slow breaths.
It also works on a metaphorical level. Slow breaths symbolize decelerating everything around you. It tells you to slow down and not stress about everything. It’s easy to get buried underneath stress. Breathing slow and deep helps alleviate this stress.
3. Let’s See If We Can Solve This Problem Together
People’s minds run a mile a minute when upset. They may feel the world caving in and crashing down on top of them
Most of the time, people who are upset feel alone. Sometimes the problem only affects them and no one else. If this is the case, always try and lend a hand.
Being upset correlates to a problem, but problems have solutions. Listen to the problem and offer a solution.
Tell them that you would love to help, and aim to solve the problem together. Working together makes the upset person feel as if they aren’t the only ones who feel the burden of the problem.
4. This Will Pass
This reminder is one of the most important things you can tell someone who’s visibly upset. Remind them that the current state they’re in will pass. It may take a few seconds or minutes, but prompt them that the emotions will pass.
Doing this helps alleviate any feelings of life remaining like this. When a person becomes angry or upset, they may begin to snowball their thoughts. Snowballing starts with one problem and slowly grows until their whole life appears ruined.
This destructive mode of thinking is difficult to snap out of for some upset people. Just remind them that their emotions will eventually go away. Normal life will return.
Try implementing one or more of these calming techniques the next time a friend appears upset. You might find yourself surprised at a more beneficial outcome, and your friend will appreciate your help.
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