How to Change Yourself for the Better

Are you struggling with how to change yourself?

Some life goals, it’s safe to say, have been on your radar for what seems like forever. Maybe you’ve always wanted to lose weight, travel extensively and be more confident. More recent goals might include getting a good night’s sleep and creating a strong impression at work.

If you could just figure out how to change yourself for the better — the master strategy that consistently works — these scenarios, as well as many not yet considered, can be yours for the taking.

Below we’ve compiled helpful tips and suggestions for you to learn how to change yourself positively and with success — so that you can be a better you.

1. Maintain Focus

One of the most obvious strategies, and in many ways the hardest to achieve, is to keep the focus solely on how to change yourself — not how to initiate change in someone else or the situation at hand. For instance, do any of these statements ring a bell?

• This to-do list is a runaway train.
• Why can’t he see what he’s got instead of always harping on what he doesn’t have?
• Does every family event have to be about drama?
• Scratch the surface just the tiniest bit, and you’ll see she’s all about image.

Add everyday thoughts about insane drivers, noisy neighbors and how hard it is to stay on budget and you are destined for a life of what-if instead of can-do. Focus on changing yourself rather than the things you can’t.

2. Alter Your Outlook

Switching the focus to yourself and how you view the events in your life, as a prerequisite to initiating lasting change, is half the battle. Consider these alternative statements:

• Which of these to-do items is immediate, and what can I realistically put on the back burner for later? By the way — I’ve got this.
• If he can’t see what’s right in front of him, I can’t broaden his limited view — only he can do that.
• I don’t have to participate in, or add to, the drama — even if this is my family.
• Her image-based focus is not my responsibility.

Once you’ve let go of the notion that it’s up to you to alter the behavior of another person or the dynamics of a challenging situation, you have a critical choice to make. You can either choose to harp on that which you have no control over in a negative manner with judgment and frustration, or you can choose to change what is completely within your power — your outlook.

3. Foster a Positive Attitude

Approaching life with an optimistic attitude has many benefits including living longer, stress relief, improved self-image and immunity support. Happy thoughts are universally energizing. Positivity increases inner motivation which often leads to a successful performance rate.

So, what do you want to do? How will you change yourself for the better? Go ahead, put a smile on your face and take the next step. After all, attitude fosters self-fulfilling prophecy, and there’s no time like the present.

4. Define New Habit or Goal

Identify and describe what you want to work on. Let’s say you’d like to start by creating a compelling impression at work.

• List advantages to achieving that goal. Yours may include greater productivity, increased self-worth, a raise in salary and more innovative job-related assignments.
• How about motivations? More pay will help you reduce personal debt. Perhaps you’ll find creative professional tasks intrinsically stimulating and public recognition gratifying.
• Build a support system. Choose colleagues and supervisors who are willing to help you stay on task and meet your goal. Keep their contact information on hand and use their insight and encouragement freely.
• Write everything down longhand and display it in a meaningful place such as the bathroom mirror or your car’s sun visor. Not only will your goal, it’s advantages and motivations be habitually visible, but the very act of writing with a pen and paper ingrains intentions with muscle memory and right-to-left brain transfer.

5. Be Patient

Give yourself at least 30 days, and celebrate small victories along the way. Habit formation toward goal behavior requires repetition over time. Prepare to feel uncomfortable and awkward even as you progress accordingly.

Remember, you’re increasing your tolerance for change with every improvement while getting better and better at being a super-fantastic you!